My Story

As most of you know, Jordan and I lost our son Roman on 9th October 2022 at just 12 days old after complications at birth lead to severe brain damage.

My labour/delivery with Roman was pretty textbook from what I understood. We got to the hospital at 10.30pm on the monday night and with just gas & air and a birthing pool he was born at 01.38am. There was no indication that anything had gone wrong. 

When he was delivered he was placed on my chest but was unresponsive. This happened with my daughter so i wasn't too concerned immediately. We just desperately awaited that cry that never came. He was rushed over to the resuscitation table where it showed that he had a strong heart rate but wasn't breathing. They masked him up, called a code blue and rushed him to the NICU. Jordan and I were waiting in the room that I'd delivered in for 3 hours until we got to see him again. It felt like days.

He was covered in tubes, was hooked up to a ventilator and was being prepped to be transferred on blue lights to Addenbrookes hospital in Cambridge for further treatment. We overheard the doctors mention that he had been having seizures which was terrifying.

After undergoing cooling treatment for 3 days in an attempt to give his brain a chance to recover and hopefully correct some of the damage he had an mri which confirmed he had suffered stage 3 severe HIE (hypoxic ischaemic encephalopathy)

After 7 days of being treated in Addenbrookes NICU we made the heartbreaking decision to take him to a hospice to remove his breathing tube and allow him to pass away comfortably and in our arms where he should have been all along. The doctors didn't expect him to last 24hrs however he gave us an amazing 5 days together where we were able to care for him before he sadly passed away in my arms.

EACH (East Anglian Childrens Hospices) - After we made the heartbreaking decision to end Romans intensive care we were transported to Miltons EACH facility. I've read about hospices being amazing before but always found that a little strange until now. From the minute we walked in we were made to feel so at home. As i said previously we were only expecting Roman to survive up to 24hrs so we didn't arrive prepared at all for a 5 night stay.

Every single person working there was amazing. The nurses just couldn't do enough for us. They made sure we ate, they did our washing, they went shopping for us but never took a penny... I had a manual single breast pump that i would be up using for ages struggling in the middle of the night - one of the nurses reached out to madela and managed to hire a double electric pump for me as well which helped me so much. We could have visitors in any numbers and at any times of the day, there were no restrictions. 

Someone very kindly donated a pram for us to use, we got to take Roman out with his uncle and auntie, all memories we will cherish forever.

When Roman passed away on Sunday 9th October we had Hannah and Nicole caring for us. They were just amazing. I'd never believed that people could genuinely care for others the way that they do. They helped us so much. 

We were also offered help from the psychologists, just giving jordan and I someone to talk to about how we was feeling (you really can't explain the confusion, guilt, anger, sadness that you experience) so it was very beneficial to talk through those feelings.

They also helped us with memory making with Roman. we sat and did lots of hand and foot prints with him which we really enjoyed. We also had music therapy and the hospice arranged for Remember my Baby to come and photograph him which was just amazing and memories we have to keep forever.

We will forever be invited to memory events at the hospice and they even arrange 'sibling days' so Nola can be very involved as well. They will truly be in our lives now forever so it is the least we can do to try to raise some money.

Please donate, even if you have just a little bit everything will add up/help people who find themselves in the unfortunate and tragic situation that we were/are in. if you're interested in joining us on the walk please do!! we'd love to have a big group.

Thank you so much for reading our story - message me if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to talk about Roman to us - we have very few memories but love to share what we have to keep his memory alive. 

Mummy & Daddy love you so much little man! 

Roman Paul Keys - 27/09/2022 - 09/10/2022

I am taking part in Pier 2 Pier Norfolk 2023 in aid of East Anglia's Children's Hospices. EACH cares for children and young people with life-threatening conditions across Cambridgeshire, Essex, Norfolk and Suffolk and support their families.

The key services which they provide includes: specialist nursing care, symptom management nursing, short breaks, wellbeing activities, therapies and counselling; all meeting the individual needs of the child, young person and whole family.

For families accessing care and those who have been bereaved, EACH is a lifeline at an unimaginably difficult time. When time is short, EACH helps families make the most of their precious time together and create memories that last forever. Thank you for supporting EACH by donating to my page.